Tuesday, June 23, 2009

1000 Gifts and Healing a Heart

I stopped recording my gifts lists here because I wasn't sure I wanted to reveal so much about myself, as I explained here.

Eleven days later, Ann had a post at Holy Experience that really caused me to question my stance. You must read it, here. Good stuff.

So now I will be recording gifts here again from time to time. I have renewed my practice of writing them down, too. I had slipped away from that habit. But I know I need to make some heart changes and gratitude is one of them.

I had a heart attack. So I am contemplating what all that means, because I know it means more than physical muscle, veins, arteries, valves and blood.

Physically, I am not the typical heart patient (if there is such a thing). Not that old. Not overweight. No high blood pressure. Only borderline high cholesterol. No relatives with heart disease (at least not until they were well into their sixties or seventies or eighties...). I was exercising. Eating relatively healthfully. (We vegetarians until just this past year -- that's about 16 years for me, more for hubby because he was a vegetarian long before that.)

But stress, oh my, yes. And more negative emotions that I hate to admit: Irritable. Angry. Ungrateful. Seeing the negative. Worried. Afraid. Insecure. Controlling. And knowing that as a Christian, I should be experiencing the opposite. But not knowing how.

I'm asking God to show me the way and, as much as He wills, the why. And I think He has asked me to start with gratefulness.

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